With the pound reeling and unemployment in the UK reaching historic levels, Prime Minister Gordon Brown has been forced to take a second job pitching pumpkin jams and jellies to homeless ex-Royal Marines. Mr. Brown visits shelters on alternate Thursdays to hawk the homemade comestibles made by his wife Sarah and their 3 Nigerian "laundresses."
"We love it when the PM shows his smiling puss," blubbered former Adjutant-General, and now homeless, Sir Blythe Witherspoon-Hummingbird. "Would any of you gents like to buy a sex tape of the PM with the entire Royal Joey Scout Troop 154?"
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General Witherbottom-Smythe actually got quite sick consuming the pumpkin jam toe cream last week......in a devastating blow to the taxpayer he had to be rushed to Sefton General and confined to a closed ward with it's own toilet facilities...so far he has wiped away over 10 000 quids worth of Carlton loo paper said his social care worker last night.
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