Political Grab Bag

True or Inaccurate?: Caroline Kennedy's recent awkward bid for the NY U.S. Senate seat was the result of a very poorly played Truth or Dare game with a Maytag deliveryman at her 5th Ave Co-op apartment. Lawyers for Ms Kennedy say they will respond once they return from lunch at Per Se.

We were delighted to learn that Bobby Jindal appeared in the dance sequence at the end of Slumdog Millionaire. (He was the girl in the slit sari and corn rows, third row from the back.) It's our understanding that he will forsake the use of Federal stimulus money and use the residuals he earns from the film to repave the Night Manager's parking spot at the New Orleans IHOP.

Results of a new straw poll show New York Governor David Patterson has been compared favorably to the Bubonic Plague of 14th century Europe. Patterson is also now slightly more popular than Salmonella poisoning but less popular than e coli. We note a 0.5% uptick since the last poll. "This shows the Governor playing to his natural strength in the Satmar Hasidic community of Kiryas Joel in upstate New York," the Governor's limo driver opined to an off-air Channel 7 Eyewitness News Weatherman.

Roland Burris's media consultant has just issued a press release stating that the Senator will continue to serve in the U.S. Senate until "... hell freezes over, with the same level of integrity and ethical behavior that are synonymous with everything I do." Burris is currently vacationing in Bimini with an all female Albanian performance group.