Surgeon Removes Pig Stye From Woman's Eye

Philomena Pumice had complained of an irritation in her eye since she was two years old. With the mild irritation unabated until her mid-40's Ms. Pumice finally sought the help of famous eye surgeon and part-time border patrol guard, Mickey Hangjusty.

In a 10 hour operation at Cedars of Gaza Ambulatory Medical Marijuana Center in downtown Detroit, Dr. Hangjusty finally removed the 25mm pig that had firmly lodged itself in the patient's eye.

"It appears that the brute waddled into her inferior rectus muscle when her mother was preoccupied with preparing the family's traditional supper of burnt goat head with fenugreek," Dr Hangjusty said in a post-op press conference. The pig, still alive and looking for another host, is scheduled to be auctioned off on Craigslist by Dr. Hangjusty's periodontist.