People magazine has just named Gombuba Praharanapahalililila, a homeless untouchable swami living in the slums of Uttar Pradesh, as the world's most eligible bachelor. People magazine's Managing Editor, Rosie Shapiro-Coxwail, attempted to explain the unusual selection by flipping her wavy black hair in a circular motion until her entire face was obscured.In an apparently unrelated event, rioting broke out in the region's major cities of Allahabadass, Ghaziabadass and Babilloreilly when the State's governor declared he was gay and living in sin with his wife's pool boy.
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