Arlen Specter Announces "Trifecta" Switch to Gay Lifestyle

Arlen Specter and his mom, Edith Ann, meet the press

In a stunning move, Senator Arlen Specter of Pennsylvania, Phil Spector's half-brother and an unindicted co-conspirator in Mr. Spector's recent murder trial, announced that not only was he switching parties but that he was also switching sexual preference. He formally announced that he was applying for residency in Iowa and that he had switched his allegiance from his just announced Democratic Party to the Pansexual Peace Party. Senator Specter held his mother's hand throughout the entire press conference and said that if it weren't for her constant cajoling and cooing, he would never have made the transition.

When asked to comment on his sudden second move within an hour of his first announcement to leave the Republican Party, Senator Specter would only say "My package always seemed too big for either the Republican or Democratic tents."

Michael Steele, Republican National Committee Chair, was in Dar es Salaam serving as a celebrity judge for a topless combination reggae/limbo regional championship and unavailable for comment.