Pastor Mordechai Ajay-Turkmenopause leads agroup of parishioners at the Little Sisters of Mercy Mother of Pearl Jesus Made Me Do It Chapel in the Bronx, in search of the left aquamarine contact lens that had been misplaced by Hattie Bloom, the church organist. It appears that Ms Bloom had brought a defective barrel organ to the church which she had mistaken for a local dinner theater. A rod that was normally connected to a metal pin in the organ disengaged, forcing a column of air up Ms Bloom's nostrils, dislodging her lens.
As day turned to dusk the pastor implored the increasingly frantic and confused congregation to search harder. "Everyone on their knees. It is God's work, this contact lens." He finally turned it up several notches when he reminded the congregants that: "Jesus wore contact lenses for our sins."
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