Giant Sperm Attack White House Pet

Bo'bama fends off sperm in a futile effort to remain chaste

In an unusual occurrence, massive spermatozoa from the National Institute of Health's Big Foot Complex escaped their enclosure and headed straight for the White House lawn. In a move of unbridled heroism, Bo'bama, the President's recently acquired Portuguese Water Dog, tried to protect the vegetable garden from an unscheduled fertilization. Overmatched for the task, Bo is being cared for at the Johns Hopkins Center for the Treatment of Maple Syrup Urine Disease. Our thoughts and prayers are with him.