Monday, April 20, 2009

Kate Winslett Ages for Titanic II

In a response to complaints by fans that her flaccid skin, loose wrinkles and pallid demeanor spoiled her movie with Brad Pitt, "The Curious Case of Benjamin Button," Kate Winslett has decided to perfect the aging process to play a more mature Rose DeWitt Bukaters in 'Titanic II - She's Back!'

In an industry shattering decision, Kate Winslett (in photo) decided to forgo the use of prosthetics for the role and instead opted for radical plastic surgery. "I love what it does for my self-image," the Academy award winning actress told US magazine. "I finally feel like I have the body of a 34 year old inside the body of a 99 year old. Simply smashing!"

The movie's premise has the Winslett character surviving the tragic loss of her ill-fated lover Jack Dawson and thriving as a madam at a Brooklyn whorehouse called "The Salty Seamen." The film is currently in post-production and will be released sometime in "the next millennium or when hell freezes over" according to her husband, director Sam Mendes.

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