In the latest newly released CIA memo, it was disclosed that Santa Claus (seen in police sketch at right) had been waterboarded 266 times. The extreme measures were apparently ordered by Vice President Dick Cheney in an attempt to force the jolly gift giver to reveal the names on his 'whose been naughty or nice' list.The memo makes it abundantly clear that this was in retribution for what the former VP felt was an egregious oversight by the "Fat Man." It seems that Mr. Cheney took it personally when he learned that he would not be getting the head of Osama bin Laden on a plate for the holiday season.
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