Source of Swine Flu Discovered

Mexican health authorities announced that a migrant used vacuum cleaner salesman who kept mutant pigs in his cellar for sale to exotic pet collectors was the source of the current swine flu pandemic.

Manuel "El pollo loco" Cruz Mendoza de Tocador Asqueroso raises a rare breed of furry swine that have become all the rage with disgraced Wall Street bankers now occupying their grand estates in Bimini and the Outer Hebrides. Mr. de Asqueroso did not realize that these exotic pets were having unprotected sex with the rare Szechuan black chickenhawks he keeps in the pre-school he runs out of his basement, with the unexpected product of their unholy union being the current swine flu virus.

Mexican authorities have now quarantined both Mr. de Asquroso and his pigs at the Mexico City Grand Hyatt where they will be staying until further notice. The chickenhawks have been distributed to local residents for resale at farmers markets across the Yucatan.