Iranian President Addresses Major Rally

Nelwy re-elected Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, rightmost in photo, recently greeted a throng of well-wishers (estimated by officials to be "well north of 15 people") from his modestly appointed presidential balcony.

Seen here, next to Finance Minister, Ali "Two Fingers" Jani Qumlately and the President's half-witted nephew Anoush GivArash, Mr. Ahmadinejad implored the unruly crowd to beat themselves silly with rubber truncheons and dress up in Zionist clown costumes to celebrate his landslide victory.

In a supporting gesture, Mr GivArash soiled himself in support of his uncle's tirade, spoiling the lunches of many in the noontime crowd below.