Iranian Supreme Leader Declares for World Games

Ayatollah Ali Khamenei, only the second Supreme Leader of the Revolution in modern Iranian history, has decided to enter the 2010 World Pole Vaulting championships to be held in Las Vegas Nevada. Due to his extreme religious beliefs, tournament organizers were trying to arrange for the mass deportation and rendition of local sex workers to friendly Arab states during the popular event.

The Ayatollah prefers to pole vault enshrouded in a modified burqa (pictured at right) and a pair of Twelve Imāms urine-dipped Nike Air Jordans. According to an anonymous source who was not authorized to speak in accordance with hadith (and under threat of being stoned to death caused by coerced confession and corroborating testimony of four male eyewitnesses) Ayatollah Khamenei has been practicing in secret for the past few months and has landed on his purdah more than once.

The pictures shows a reflective Ayatollah preparing for his third attempt at 1 meter (3 feet). This reporter can only say Alhamdulillah, Ayatollah and Yarhamukallah.