US Troops Get Early Start to Halloween in Mosul

Pfc Francis Mule knocks on door of local resident in a surprise Trick or Treat Exercise

In an unexpected announcement by the U.S. military and timed to the release of the new Rob Zombie motion picture Halloween 2, US Marine spokesperson Heidi "Butch" Clapper announced that all infantry troops serving in Iraq would be outfitted with Michael Myers masks.

"We thought it would be a great idea," Chicken Colonel Clapper offered. "Initial focus groups we've had with Iraqi insurgents were quite enthusiastic. As you know, they have always longed to associate themselves with Hollywood and all things Western. Not too mention the buzz we are hearing from troops in the field."

To bear that out, this reporter interviewed Pfc Francis Mule, a four tour Iraqi terrorist interrogator/interior design specialist, who thinks it is a great troop morale booster:

I can't wait to begin my day in costume. There's nothing more satisfying than going trick or treating door to door in my Judy Garland pumps and Katherine Hepburn pleated gabardine pants, and garroting some hapless piece of terrorist shit while whistling "Oh What a Beautiful Morning." You know it's the opening song from the musical Oklahoma! by composer Richard Rodgers and lyricist/librettist Oscar Hammerstein II.