Veteran Raises Awareness of Animal Cruelty

In homage to the recent release of NFL quarterback Michael Vick, an 89 year old special ops veteran of the 1978 Uganda-Tanzania War of annexation is trekking across the United states with his dead dog Starlet, collecting donations along the way.

Mr. Oswald Puigh was emotionally overcome by the pictures of the animals Mr. Vick had used in his illicit dog fighting operation that he ran in his home state of Georgia. Mr. Puigh wanted to embark on a nationwide walk-a-thon to take advantage of a "learning moment." When this reporter asked him what message he was specifically trying to convey, Mr. Puigh, coughing up blood from his ordeal, stated:

"I want people to realize that we are all God's creatures," he sobbed while dry shaving his Angora cat Blarney in a vat of turpentine.

To date, Mr. Puigh has raised thirty five (35) cents over the initial ten days & thirty miles. The money was kindly donated by a homeless person whom Mr Puigh mugged outside a Wendy's dumpster.