UN Ambassador's BO Clears Assembly Session

Maya Hagmanji, UN representative from the Democratic Republic of Turkmenistan, cleared the entire United Nations General Assembly last week just before a critical vote on North Korea. Ambassador Hagmanji has never bathed or used deodorant as part of an obscure religious belief system espoused by a tiny minority of the country's Kazakhs, Azeris, and Balochis. When she appeared right before her turn to vote, the entire session collapsed in disarray as delegates stampeded for the exits.

Two unidentified ushers were taken to Lenox Hill Hospital with third degree lacerations and the Ambassadors from Byeloruss and Jamaica suffered bruised egos in the melee.

At the request of the United Nation's Security Council, Ambassador Hagmanji has subsequently been renditioned to an undisclosed Eastern European country for her own safety.